I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think your dad took our porno
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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