Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize