i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
