The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
