i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The Olympian is in my bed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize