He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
