haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
