Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I love you. Go after that dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
