Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
