3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
