are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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