i love accidental penises.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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