maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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