i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
