in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
