I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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