So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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