You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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