Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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