Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
