So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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