Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
