So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
