My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Are my feet made of real feet?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
