Say something about gay babies.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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