Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
foreskin is a definite game changer
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize