I want to have your abortion
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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