bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
