My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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