is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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