"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
