The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
