So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize