dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
