I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
