let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
