And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize