I just cut my nipple shaving
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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