i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
birth control should be required to get into college
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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