i think my tv is drunk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize