sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
