I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
