Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
