was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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