I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
