Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
