After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
