she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize