So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
