talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My life is pants optional.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
