Don't you send me to vm
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
