No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize