I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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