I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
