hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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