so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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