Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Small penises have feelings too.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
