we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
