Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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