He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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