She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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