I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
