Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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